Parents Have Milestones Too!
Written by Alisa Zuka, creator of The Mommy Milestones Journal
Hi! I’m Alisa, mommy, wife, speech-language pathologist, and creator of The Mommy Milestones journal. One year ago, I gave birth to a beautiful , incredible, little girl named Maja. Baby Maja is my first and only child.
Despite how much I wanted to become a mother, I experienced postpartum depression and anxiety which caused a lot of negative emotions to arise during my daughter and I’s first months together. I had no idea how having a newborn would affect my mental health and how difficult life would be while I was physically healing from giving birth while learning to become a mother.
With the help of support groups, my spouse, and my own motivation to work on myself, I realized that what triggered negative, intrusive thoughts were inner feelings of loss and fear. I deeply felt the loss of the routine of my life before Maja and the loss of sleep quickly spiraled me into a very dark place. Simultaneously, I experienced fear of not being a good enough mother and an overwhelming fear of constantly doing something wrong.
People kept telling me it was “normal”to feel this way and that life would “get better”. Or that I’d never sleep again and that I would get used it. My body and my mind would adjust. These answers didn’t bring me comfort because what I wanted so much was to enjoy this new addition to my life and to embrace the good and the bad. So, I began keeping track of each new development… both mine and Maja’s. In addition, I began to set goals.
What I found was incredible. Once we established a routine, and I changed my focus from what was difficult to what was beautiful, I realized just how much both Maja and I were growing. I began to see that both Maja and I were achieving milestones of our own. For Maja, it was learning to sleep and eat. For me, it was going back to the the gym, having lunch with friends, reading books, and learning to prioritize my own self-care again.
I originally created The Mommy Milestones journal for myself, so that I could see all I was accomplishing alongside Maja. I wanted a keepsake for myself to use as a daily log but also something to look back on in the future. I wanted to celebrate the first night both Maja and I slept through the night and the first evening I read a book (my favorite past time) after putting Maja to sleep.
As I began to use my journal, I had a thought: why not give other moms the opportunity to document their own milestones? Why not create a product that any mom could use to help get through those first months of motherhood?
With my journal, I aspire to create a community of moms that support each other and share their daily accomplishments. I also hope to inspire others to think of the new moms in their life and to learn how to better support them.
Follow me on Instagram (@mymommymilestones) and let’s create a community together that celebrates the triumphs of every day.
Alisa- a woman with long brown hair and glasses, stands outside on the grass, in front of a group of trees. She is holding the journal she created which is white with black floral illustrations and titled “Mommy Milestones: For the Triumphs of Every Day”
