The Bounce-Back Trap: What if You Just Want to Feel Like Yourself Again?
By: Hannah Daigneault MS, RD, LDN
We all know that "bounce back culture" is toxic. The idea that new moms should somehow return to their pre-baby body is absurd - we can't turn back time, can't undo pregnancy, can't become "pre-baby." And most moms don't want to diet. Most don't want their brainspace consumed by thoughts about how their body isn't enough.
But here's the part we don't always admit: even when you reject the idea that your body should "bounce back," it can still feel unsettling, uncomfortable, or even painful to be in your postpartum body.
And that doesn't mean you're shallow or self-obsessed. It means you're human.
Postpartum is a season of intense change, and it's freaking hard. Your body does things you weren't warned about, changes in ways you never expected, and the world doesn't give you much space to talk about it honestly. So let's talk about it - really talk about it.
Feeling Uncomfortable in Your Postpartum Body Doesn't Mean You're Failing
It's completely possible to believe in bodily autonomy, reject diet culture, champion intuitive eating… and still look in the mirror and think: Wow, this does not feel like me.
Most new parents live in that tension. Instead of pathologizing it, I'm here to normalize it and give you real tools for navigating it without falling into the bounce-back trap.
The Postpartum Body Changes You Probably Weren't Warned About
We tend to talk about postpartum body changes as if they're mostly about weight. But in reality, your entire physiology shifts:
Your rib cage and hips may widen
Your belly may sit differently, feel softer
Your breasts change size, shape, and function
You may be living with scars, stretch marks, or diastasis recti
Your pelvic floor changes and may need support to heal
Hormones, sleep deprivation, and stress change how your body feels from the inside out
None of this means something has gone wrong. Everyone who has been through pregnancy and birth experiences these changes - and they can be incredibly unsettling. It's not just "baby weight" that society pressures us to lose – it's the entire transformation. And that's what's nuts.
Why Postpartum Body Discomfort Feels So Intense
Body image is about so much more than what your body looks like - it comes down to how you feel. And as a new mom, you are physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially stretched. We're navigating:
A huge identity shift. Becoming a parent rewires your sense of self, your relationships, and your capacity.
Hormones in constant flux. Your hormones are supposed to shift postpartum, but this rollercoaster can be incredibly unsettling after years of stability.
A massive loss of control. Enough said.
Social comparison that hits harder when you're sleep deprived. Social media paints a sanitized picture of motherhood that's impossible to match.
If you feel uncomfortable in your body right now, that doesn't mean you're on the wrong track. It means you're going through something really hard. Because you are.
So what do you do with this discomfort? How do you take care of yourself without falling into the bounce-back trap?
The Difference Between "Feeling Like Yourself" and Pursuing Weight Loss
One of the biggest traps diet culture sets is convincing us that losing weight will make us happier, healthier, more valuable, and more loved. But having a smaller body doesn't achieve any of those things on its own.
When clients consider intentional weight loss, I ask them what it will cost: Will you be hungry often? What will it feel like to plan separate meals for yourself and your family? How will it feel to tie your worth to the scale?
What most postpartum moms really want is to feel like themselves again. Motherhood is one giant identity shift, and body changes make that shift even harder to navigate.
"Feeling like yourself" is about comfort, ease, energy, and connection to your body. Pursuing weight loss is about changing your body to meet an external standard. These two things often get conflated, but they're not the same.
Here's what "feeling like yourself" might actually look like:
Having energy to play with your baby
Feeling strong enough to carry your child
Not feeling constantly touched-out or depleted
Reconnecting with movement that feels good
Eating without stress or second-guessing
Sleeping better, feeling less overwhelmed
Note: these are all internal experiences that have nothing to do with what your body looks like.
Here's the rub: diet culture convinces us that weight loss is the path to "feeling like ourselves again" - but restriction, food stress, and body obsession take us further from that feeling. Ever tried to handle a toddler meltdown on an empty stomach? You know what I mean.
What Actually Helps When You're Uncomfortable (Without the Bounce-Back Agenda)
There are real, evidence-based ways to support your wellbeing that don't require weight loss or restriction. The key? Focus on what your body needs to function and feel comfortable, not what it needs to look like.
Adequate nourishment: You cannot heal, produce milk, regulate hormones, or have energy if you're undereating. If you're breastfeeding, your needs are higher than during pregnancy. Sleep deprivation increases hunger - this is your body asking for fuel, not failure. If stress has lowered your appetite, working with a postpartum dietitian can help you meet your needs.
Gentle movement: Not exercise to "earn" food or "burn off" your body. Movement can help you feel connected to your body - walking, stretching, pelvic floor exercises. You also have permission to rest. Rest IS productive postpartum.
Support for physical discomfort: If things hurt, that deserves attention. Pelvic floor physical therapy can be life-changing. Medical support for diastasis recti or prolapse matters. Supportive undergarments are fine if they help YOU feel comfortable - not to "hide" your body.
Mental health support: Body image struggles often signal broader postpartum adjustment challenges. Therapy with someone who understands perinatal mental health is invaluable. Treatment for postpartum mood disorders is crucial. Support groups help you feel less alone.
So much postpartum discomfort traces back to unmet needs. Importantly, none of these strategies involve restriction or weight loss, but they can help you feel more like yourself.
Now, I'd be lying if I said focusing on these behaviors makes the urge to diet disappear. For many people, that pull toward restriction can still feel strong. So what do you do with that?
When the Urge to Diet Feels Really Strong
It makes sense that you want a "solution." Thanks to diet culture, you're being targeted with weight loss supplements, tracking apps, and influencer marketing telling you your postpartum body is the problem. But restriction doesn't solve the real issues - the identity shift, hormones, exhaustion, or loss of control.
Ask yourself when the diet urge hits:
What am I actually feeling? (Uncomfortable? Overwhelmed? Out of control?)
What do I think dieting will give me? (Control? My "old self"?)
What would it cost me? (Mental energy, relationship with food, milk supply, energy for my baby)
What do I actually need? (Rest? Support? Grace?)
In reality, dieting postpartum is probably not the life you want. Restriction increases food preoccupation and can affect milk supply. It takes mental energy you don't have. It doesn't address the actual source of discomfort. And for those with an eating disorder history, it's a genuine relapse risk.
Rather than restrict, try this:
Name what you're feeling. When your inner voice says to eat less, pause and notice: "I feel out of control" or "I'm exhausted."
Reach out for support. Do you need time for yourself, a hot meal, or extra sleep? Ask for help. There's no shame in it.
Do one small thing that helps you feel cared for. You decide what this is.
Give yourself permission to feel uncomfortable without fixing it immediately. I know this is hard.
For many, these tools are enough. But if body image thoughts are becoming constant, distressing, or affecting how you care for yourself or your baby, it might be time for additional support.
When Body Image Struggles Need Professional Support
Sometimes body image discomfort needs more than self-reflection and coping strategies. Seeking support isn't failure - it's one of the most important things you can do for yourself and your family.
Signs you might benefit from professional support:
Your thoughts about your body are constant and overwhelming
You're restricting food, skipping meals, or creating rigid rules
You're exercising compulsively or avoiding activities because of body image
You have a history of disordered eating and notice old patterns returning
Body image struggles affect your ability to care for your baby
You're experiencing postpartum depression or anxiety alongside body concerns
If any of these resonate, specialized support exists - and it can make all the difference.
A therapist specializing in perinatal mental health and/or eating disorders can help you navigate this complexity. They understand postpartum body image is often tied to identity, control, and deeper emotional needs.
A dietitian specializing in intuitive eating and perinatal nutrition can support you in meeting your body's needs without restriction. This is especially important if you have an eating disorder history, because general nutrition advice often misses the mental health piece.
Support groups help you feel less alone. Sometimes just knowing you're not the only one is incredibly powerful.
The bottom line: postpartum is vulnerable. Getting the right support isn't about being weak - it's about protecting your mental health and preventing patterns that could pull you from the life you want.
This Takes Time (And That's Okay)
I wish I could give you a timeline for when body discomfort will ease or when you'll feel like yourself again. But healing your relationship with your body doesn't follow a schedule.
Your body will continue changing for 12-18+ months postpartum. Hormones take time to regulate. Your identity as a parent takes years to integrate. Some days will be harder than others - that's normal.
You might feel okay one week and struggle the next. A comment, a photo, or social media might trigger discomfort. This doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. Healing isn't linear.
Here's what I want you to know:
You don't have to love your body today to deserve respect and care
You don't have to be "body positive" to reject diet culture
You can feel uncomfortable AND still nourish and treat your body with kindness
You can take this journey one day at a time
There's no finish line of perfect body acceptance. But you can find peace in the discomfort. You can build a relationship with your body based on respect rather than control. And you can do this without sacrificing your mental health.
You Deserve Support That Sees All of You
Postpartum body discomfort is real, valid, and doesn't mean you're shallow or failing. You're human, navigating one of the biggest transitions of your life.
You don't have to choose between your mental health and your physical health. You don't have to diet your way through postpartum. You don't have to "bounce back" to anything.
There IS a path forward that honors both your body and your mind - one that helps you feel more like yourself without restriction, food stress, or the mental energy drain of trying to control your body.
And you don't have to figure this out alone.
If you're navigating body image struggles, disordered eating patterns, or want support that truly sees all of you during the perinatal period, I'd love to work with you. I specialize in helping people heal their relationship with food and their body during pregnancy and postpartum - without the diet culture nonsense. Learn more at my website or follow along on Instagram (@nurtured.and.well) where I share real talk about perinatal nutrition, body image, and intuitive eating.
You deserve support that will never ask you to sacrifice your mental wellbeing. You deserve providers who understand that your worth isn't tied to your weight, and that true health includes how you feel, not just how you look.
Your postpartum body has been through something incredible. It deserves compassion, not criticism. And so do you.
